Noob loses his cellphone the second he arrives, has NO WAY to contact any of his friends, does not see a SINGLE person from his class, not even people he isn't friends with. He wanders around for 2 HOURS, and sees ZERO familiar people. He is about to leave, and cowboy face the drive back to NYC at 1AM. He decides to walk through the 5th reunion area one last time, where thousands of people are standing in place politely drinking their free beer and conversing. Out of the corner of his eye he sees someone fall into a dumpster. 30 half finished beers are scattered onto the pavement and random people. Noob thinks to himself without looking over yet, "Stone."
Noob: STONE!!! I was about to leave!! I lost my cellphone, sorry I didn't call! I have been looking for my cellphone all over the state of New Jersey! Sorry I'm late. I couldn't call, I lost my cell phone. Hey everyone, this guy founded Newman's Day!!!
Stone: Really Noob, well why didn't you just call?
Noob: I lost my cellphone.
Stone: HA!!!!!!!!!!! (falls down).
Stone (on ground): I've chugged 60 beers in two days. I'm not allowed to do that. Do you know who's the fastest drinker at Princeton?
Noob: Dog.
Stone (while urinating DIRECTLY on this guy Jamie's leg): Chopper. He's so fast. Noob by the way you're famous. I'll tell you later.
Noob: That's absurd. Dog is instantaneous.
Stone: You're right, what was I thinking. Dog.
[4:57:35 PM] George Corny '98 says: so my buddy and i go back to this room that a bunch of our friends lived in our senior year…
[4:57:43 PM] George Corny says: except we don't know the guys who live there now because we're too old.
[4:58:03 PM] George Corny says: so my buddy goes to sleep in one of the guys beds… and that guy was pretty pissed when he got home and just started freaking out.
[4:58:17 PM] George Corny says: so my buddy decides to clock the guy and all hell breaks loose.
[4:58:46 PM] George Corny says: eventually, cooler heads prevailed, but then we had to leave because it was awkward so i slept on a bench in prospect gardens.
[5:06:08 PM] amy says: can't believe you guys thought it'd be a good idea to go back to your senior yr room
[5:06:21 PM] amy says: that's like thinking it's a good idea to go try and sleep with your senior yr girlfriend for old times' sake!!!
[5:07:50 PM] George Corny says: the funniest part… is that all of this is happening at like 10:15 in the morning.
[5:09:20 PM] George Corny says: we slept there last year for christ's sake! seniors should have more respect for alumni.